How to Survive a Long Distance Relationship
The questions I always get asked is how do you do it? How can you maintain a long distance relationship?
During the past 3 years together we have learned how to communicate and listen to each other. We have also learned how we give and receive love using the 5 Love Languages.
I attribute our success to learning those things as well as learning how to find balance. We find that balance by limiting our distractions when we are together.
My Snowman lives in Finland which means we have a 7 hour time difference. A 10 hours plane ride and 4,265 miles between us.
We have to be able to trust each other to survive a long distance relationship. If you are unable to trust your partner then you won’t be able to have confidence in your relationship.
7 Tips for Surviving a Long Distance Relationship
Communicate and Listen
Communication is important because it shows that you are passionate about your partner and y’all’s relationship. In between meet-ups is also the best time to learn how to communicate well with each other.
By learning how to effectively communicate and listen to one another it helps deepen our trust with each other.
Clear communication also helps us keep things transparent so nothing can be misconstrued. Sometimes it can be difficult to understand the tone of voice the other person is using.
Especially through texting.
When you first start any relationship it takes time to find the way your partner and you communicate together.
As long as you’re taking that time to be with your partner that’s all that matters.
Learn your Love Language
One of the first things we did in our relationship was figuring out what our love language was.
The 5 Love Languages consist of: quality time, receiving gifts, words of affirmation, physical touch, and acts of service.
The 5 Love Languages will help you understand how you and your partner give and receive love.
Our love language happens to be quality time and physical touch. During our relationship we have found ways to express these love languages despite being separated by an Ocean.
I honestly recommend the love languages to any couple whether you’re close proximity or distance relationship.
Before I start on this section I understand that every couple has their own financial situation. You should never put your personal finances ahead of your relationship.
If you can’t afford to go see them and vice versa then save up and plan. Taking turns meeting each other is a great way to make the travel expenses fair.
My Snowman and I take turns who is seeing who. I just went out to Finland for a month for the Winter. Now he’s coming out to me this Summer.
Meeting up is a crucial part of maintaining any long distance relationship.
You need to see the other person in how they deal in everyday life. As well as how they treat people around them.
You need to know if y’all vibe as well in person as you did online.
This is something I struggle with all the time, but please please please do not over plan your meet-up. It just leads to a lot of chaos and less time just enjoying each other.
It’s is so fun to plan what y’all are going to do together as a couple. Eventually everything gets added to your bucket list and your scrambling to make time to be together.
Which if y’all are a go-getting couple good for you. I just like to sleep and relax some with my Snowman.
A good ratio would be to plan one big thing a week. Then save the other days for normal life or visiting family and friends.
One of the biggest relationship killers in being distracted in your relationship.
For us in long distance relationships it can prove to be even more challenging.
Mostly, because we are always talking to our partner on our cell phones or computers.
This is something I have to catch myself with when I am on the call with my Snowman. I have to put the phone on speaker and to the side in order to limit my distractions.
Limiting distractions around you also let’s your partner know that you are giving them your undivided attention to them.
You are also more in-tuned with your partner and the conversations.
Just like in any relationship you need to give your partner some space.
I really don’t want to interrupt my Snowman when he’s out. I also don’t expect him to talk to me while he’s out playing pool or chilling with his boys.
The same goes for me I let him know what I am doing ahead of time so that he won’t call when I am out. Unless to say goodnight because once again he’s 7 hours ahead of me.
Finding that balance is trusting your partner and being transparent as possible. That way doubt and jealousy don’t sneak their way in.
Build Confidence and Trust
Having confidence in your relationship is HUGE.
There are going to be plenty of people constantly questioning your actions. Which in turn can make you questions the relationship itself.
The main question I get asked are:
How are you able to trust your partner to not cheat on you?
Why can’t you find someone who is closer?
I mean people can talk and be negative all they want but, I know our relationship I trust our relationship.
Our relationship has integrity.
Just because others may be insecure about relationships they have doesn’t mean you need to bring that insecurity in yours.
Your relationship comes down to knowing and trusting your partner. The only way to do that is to communicate and listen to each other.
Communication = Trust
Plan Your Next Steps Together
Any relationship can be great at first but it will easily fizzle out if you don’t talk about your future.
Talking about your future can be something as easy as planning your next date night together or next video call.
Date nights are essential to making your long distance relationship work. Planning a date night let’s your partner know that you are creating time for the relationship.
Talking about your next step together can also mean to talk about when you will want to close the gap. Let’s face it no one wants to stay in a long distance relationship forever.
Your goal should be to eventually close the gap and spend your lives together.
Surviving a Long Distance Relationship
Long distance relationships really aren’t that much different then close distance relationships. I would like to think we are like any other couple out there.
We both put in the work in order to make sure our relationship works. That is what helped us maintain our 3 years together and what makes want to close the gap.
I would love to hear how you keep your long distance relationship strong. So, if you have any other tips for me leave a comment below.