We all love and enjoy the honeymoon phase of our relationships because everything is perfect and nothing can go wrong.
Then life happens.
External factors that we have put on the back-burner start coming to light.
When these outside factors worm their way into your everyday thoughts, it can start to affect your relationship negatively.
Now it’s time to buckle up because you are no longer in the honeymoon phase you have just entered into the power struggle phase of your long distance relationship.
This is when tensions are high between you and your partner and you notice that you are more frustrated with everything around you including your partner.
It’s important during this time to talk to your partner about what you are feeling and what you are going through.
But it’s even more important to listen to how they are handling stress in their life as well as how your stress is affecting them.
9 Ways to Ease Stress in a Long Distance Relationship
Let’s be real, this past week was hard. Travel bans. Social distancing. Toilet paper shortages. We all just went through so much in our communities it’s pretty crazy right now.
Covid-19 has effects so many communities around the world and it is now starting to affect online communities, like long distance relationships.
With travel bans in place it has left a lot of us waiting and wishing we will be able to see our partner.
Which then adds more stress to the relationship because we are unable to do anything other than wait.
Oh yeah, don’t forget to wash your hands 🧼
Before you talk to your partner about what’s going on in your life take some time to reflect.
When you are able to identify the root cause of your stress it’ll become much easier to talk to your partner.
Let your partner know that you are feeling stressed and need some time for yourself to figure things out.
Be sure to remind your partner that you are not distancing yourself from them and that you love them.
Once you figure out what is exactly causing your stress talk to your partner and let them know so y’all can move forward together.
Once you’ve identified what things are causing your stress talk to your partner about it.
Figure out together what y’all can do together to lessen the stress you’re feeling.
Tuomas and I actually joke about this alot. I stress right before things get crazy because I like to plan, whereas he is the exact opposite.
He doesn’t feel the need to stress about things until things are happening.
Because of different viewpoints on how to handle the stress we end up balancing each other out.
Basically, he’s calm when I’m stressed and I’m calm when he’s stressed 💁♀️🤦♂️
So take this time to discuss with your partner how they handle stress, then talk about how you handle stress.
Once you do that figure out how y’all can be a team and overcome this together.
A huge part of relationships but especially long distance relationships is teamwork.
You and your partner should be on the same page with each other’s stress.
Take this time to discuss with your partner how they can help you and also ask how you can help them with stress.
During times when tensions are high, y’all need to remember that relationships are a team sport.
And teamwork makes the dream work 🙌
Think about it this way, your partner is the star player on your team.
If you don’t let your star player know about the play that needs to be made to win; how are you going to expect them to make that play?
Going back to my star player analogy. Even if you tell your MVP what play to make they might have a hard time actually making the play.
It’s going to take time for y’all to figure out the best way to go about it.
I’ll put this into more perspective. Tuomas and I have been dating for almost 4 years, and he jokingly said the other night, “We have been dating for 4 years and I have finally started to learn what to say”.
It’s going to take time so try not to assume that your partner knows you as well as your family or your best friends.
Not only does it take time to make a relationship grow but it also takes a lot of meeting up and being with each other in person.
5. Give and Receive Love
Being there for your partner also what helps relieve stress. By learning how you give and receive love you are able to help your partner heal when your partner is feeling strained.
The 5 Love Languages quiz is a great way to learn more about your partner and how they give and receive love. Which also plays a huge roll into how you make time for each other.
Our love language is quality time and physical touch. Both are hard to do in a long distance relationship but it doesn’t make it impossible.
We make time together by planning meet-ups and being together in a call.
Just having Tuomas in a call with me makes me feel relaxed 🥰
6. Avoid Blaming
A part of being under stress is having a hard time expressing the emotions that you are feeling.
Sometimes it is easier to blame someone else for why we are feeling a certain type of way.
That’s why we started with self reflection at the beginning of this post.
While it may be easy to blame your partner’s chewing too loud on the phone for making you angry in that moment, that’s not where the stress is coming from.
You have to learn to accept the part of you that is feeling some type of way and how you can work to resolve it.
Again. Teamwork makes the dream work.
7. Be Supportive
When you are feeling stressed out it’s easy to bottle things up and close everything around you out.
You need to do the opposite of that.
Because odds are if you’re stressed that’s causing your partner to feel a little pressure as well.
Y’all need to be supportive of each other, as well as provide yourself your own support through some self care or self love.
Being supportive also means being there for your partner through when they have to make hard decisions.
As well as continuing to stay by their side for the outcome of those decisions.
Support can come in all different ways, it kind of goes back to what your love language is.
In our relationship we give support by listening to each other and being there when we need time to think.
8. Do Something Together
Activities always take your mind off of stress especially when you are creating something.
It is so easy to get lost in the details when you are having fun together.
Right now Tuomas and I are doing something together, we’re both writing.
Yeah it makes for a boring call since we’re not talking but we both are doing the same thing together. This time we are sharing creates a bond because we are doing it together.
When the weather is a little bit nice we like to go on walks together.
That way we get out of the apartment and get some vitamin D and endorphins, which makes people happy.
Just as long as you’re doing something together with your partner it will help get your mind off the stress.
It also allows you to enjoy what you are doing in the moment with the one you love.
9. Trust Your Partner
When you have trust in your partner it also shows that you have trust in yourself.
You have confidence in y’all’s relationship.
Which in turn means you have confidence in yourself and your judgment.
Also it helps knowing that your partner has your back. It helps relieve stress because it clears uncertainty and worry from their mind.
By having trust in your partner it gives you more room to grow as a couple because you are not alone in facing obstacles, you are now facing them together.
As a team.
Stress is a part of life, it’s a part of relationships. It is how we handle our stress that creates success in our relationships.
As I mentioned before part of a relationship is going through a power struggle phase which you can learn more about here.
The best way to navigate your stress in a long distance relationship is through solid communication and listening to each other. Being open and honest about your feelings will help your partner understand your feelings better.
Don’t forget your MVP needs to know what play to make and how to make it.
What are some of the ways you and your partner reduce stress in your relationship? Let me know in the comments below.