How to show Acts of Service in a Long Distance Relationship
After you take the 5 Love Languages quiz you will see that a person is able to score high in multiple areas. As for me, I scored the highest in Quality Time and physical touch. However, my third place score went to Acts of Service.
Which makes sense to me, I love when my Snowman helps me out with things. Having him devote some of his time to help me with my life, and letting me help him with things in his life makes me very happy.
I am 100% spoiled and that’s fine 💁♀️
I also found that this is probably one of the most misunderstood love languages. It’s hard because the person wants you to show them love through actions.
Then if you toss in the whole long distance relationship on top of that it complicates things a bit. You are unable to help your partner do daily tasks like; helping cook dinner or taking out the trash.
11 Thoughtful Ways to Show Acts of Service in Long Distance Relationship
Before I start this list off I just want to mention a few things. If you or your partner’s love language is acts of service it does not mean you have to be their personal maid. Let me say this a little louder for the people in the back.
You 👏 Are 👏 Not 👏 Their 👏 Maid 👏
Remember, this is how your partner gives and receives love. Which means they want to help you out as much as they want you to help them out. Relationships are meant to be an equal balance of give and take, that includes long distance relationships too.
1. Be Helpful
Despite this love language being about action you need to remember to communicate about what you want to be done. It’ll be pretty hard for your partner to figure out how to help you if you don’t let them know how they can actually help you.
This is when y’all talk about life, what are some highs and lows you’re going through. By letting your partner know how they can be there will make them more understanding. If they understand how they can help then in the future when something comes up, your partner is more prepared on how to be there for you.
With that being said, this is a huge learning curve. It’ll be hard for your partner to help you in every way possible without going through a little bit of trial and error. Love is something that grows and develops over time, not instantaneously.
Patience is a virtue that I do not possess 😅
2. Let Your Partner Help You
This love language is truly about giving and receiving love. If this is your love language ask your partner what you can help them with. Again, in this love language action speaks louder than words.
If your partner’s love language is acts of service; let them know ways they can help you in your everyday life. Once you let your partner know what they can do to help you, you might see help in unexpected ways.
Let’s say you are preparing for an upcoming life event and that your partner’s love language is acts of service. In this situation your partner might send you a care package filled with things that would help get you through it.
You might feel embarrassed that they went out of their way for you but that’s how they show their love. If your partner can’t physically be there to help you, they at least want to do something for you the best way they can.
A great way to show acts of service is to have them set a reminder or an alarm for you. Some days I need to wake up much earlier than I like, so when I need to I usually will have my Snowman help me with a wake up call. It helps make waking up a lot easier because he is there for me.
Besides, who wouldn’t want to hear from their partner when they need to wake up early?
Sure with cell phones and other technology available it would make more sense to set your own alarm but it’s just nice to know your partner will be there when you need help.
4. Help Them With a Problem
One of the hardest situations to go through in a long distance relationship is not being able to physically be there for your partner. Especially when they are making changes in their life which include making tough decisions.
These are the moments you wish more than ever that you could hold them and let them know everything will be okay. But just because you’re not physically there doesn’t mean you can’t help your partner.
This is the time to listen to your partner, communicate with them about what’s going on in their life. Show them that you’ll be there for them and will help solve their problem.
Ultimately, helping your partner with a problem gives them reassurance. It lets your partner know that you can support them when they have to make tough decisions. Most importantly, it will let them know that you are by their side.
5. Learn How to Cook Their Favorite Meal
What better way to surprise your partner than by telling them you’ve learned how to cook their favorite meal.
Learning their favorite meal let’s your partner know that you are interested in them and their preference. By learning how to cook their favorite food, it will show commitment to your partner and the relationship.
This will also be a fun way to show your love during a meet-up. You can make it a whole date night, go to the grocery store together, then after dinner clean the dishes together. It is a great way to spend time together and it makes doing dishes feel a bit more intimate.
6. Make a Playlist
Creating a playlist for your partner is a great way to motivate when they are in need. It is also a great way to share your music preferences with each other.
My Snowman really likes heavy metal, dark metal, all metal music. Whereas I like any music I can dance to. Really the only music requirements is I have to be able to dance to it.
If I can’t dance to it then I don’t like it 🤣
So he made me a playlist of danceable metal music on youtube. You know what else? I loved it, I was actually able to dance to the songs and I found a new appreciation for metal music.
More importantly, I was able to use the playlist while I cleaned or while I was at the gym. And, every time I listened to that playlist I knew that my partner made that for me.
7. Plan a Date Night
Date nights play a huge role in long distance relationships. As of this point we know that doing things for your partner is the best way to speak the love language for acts of service.
One way you could do this is planning out a date night for your partner. You could make it a themed date night, or have dinner and a movie.
Your partner will be impressed with you taking the time to create a romantic evening together. Date nights are beneficial to long distance relationships as it helps to create bonds and lasting memories of each other.
This is all about taking action and doing something for your partner. This lets your partner know how much they mean to you.
8. LDR Love Coupons
Love coupons are a great way to break apart from day to day life. It adds spontaneity and spice to you and your partner’s relationship. They are also a great way to feel better connected.
You can virtually send your partner love coupons by screenshotting the coupon.
Then send your partner a picture of the tasks you want them to do. Add in blank coupons and make up your own request from your partner.
With love coupons you are able to physically be there with them even though you are apart. Love coupons also will help make your presence felt because you are doing something for your partner.
My snowman enjoys using them, it also allows me to devote my time to him when he uses the coupon. It gives us time to be together, without distractions.
9. When Your Partner Ask for Something Do It
Right now we are planning our wedding and my eventual move out to Finland. Which means there is a lot of planning to do for both of us. Wedding planning has also shown me that we have great teamwork.
One thing I have learned is how happy it makes me when I ask my Snowman to do something and he follows through with it. It’s so simple and it also means the most.
Following through with tasks helps your partner out mentally, when it comes to planning things. This also tells your partner that they can depend on you when they are in need.
This love language fully blooms during meet-ups. It flourishes well because it also shows your partner that you are a dependable person to live with.
You can show them this by doing something as simple as taking out the trash for your partner. By helping out with the trash it shows your partner that you want to help them out when they need it.
10. Plan an All Day Date during a Meet-up
We’ve both planned all day dates for each other. We do this by listening to each other about the different things we want to do during a visit. Then during the next meet-up we have our date.
The key to this is learning more about what they like and trying to plan it for them.
Really listen to your partner and what type of things they like to do. They will be so happy to know that you did something so amazing just for them.
Your partner will know how much you listen to them and that you care about what they are saying.
11. Acknowledge your Partner
Paying attention to what your partner says helps them know that you are on their side. Validate your partner by focusing on what they are saying.
Plus, your partner will feel that you want to hear what they have to say. This also shows that you understand and accept your partner for who they are, flaws and all.
Acknowledging your partner also helps build trust in the relationship. I trust my Snowman with everything we have both learned how to acknowledge each other’s feelings.
He even acknowledges my anger, which most of the time makes me end up laughing and then forgetting the fact that I was ever angry.
Is Your Love Language Acts of Service?
If anything I have learned that Acts of Service will inspire you to do things for each other. And to be spontaneous with your help. When the action comes from your heart, it truly makes for the most beautiful display of love.
Acts of Service also made me understand more about giving and receiving love. If you or your partner’s love language is acts of service let me know of some ways y’all give and receive this love language.
Have any other thoughts on the 5 Love Languages? Let me know in the comments below.