Our first meet-up was also our most awkward meet-up.
There were so many new things that we were learning about each other. It was also the time we started to learn what it meant to be in the same room with each other.
When you and your partner are able to laugh and navigate through these awkward moments together.
You don’t need to worry about if it works as well in person as it does online.
These awkward moments occur because you and your partner are still in the phase of getting to know each other.
During Meet-Ups you are learning about a whole new side to your partner that you aren’t able to see when you’re apart.
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Accepting Their Flaws and Understanding Your Own
Frustration occurs when you are unable to accept your partner’s flaws.
If you are having a hard time accepting your partner’s flaws then try shifting your thoughts to all of your partner’s good qualities instead.
Use this as a time to reflect and understand you own flaws as well.
There are times where I get really annoyed at Tuomas being so forgetful, and that I have to constantly remind him about certain things.
I started to reflect on this from his perspective. Why is she so quick to get mad at me for not remembering when she has a good memory?
Once I shifted my thoughts to his perspective I realized that my flaw is: I am quick to anger.
After you are able to accept your partner’s flaw and understand your own, it makes it easier to practice gratitude.
I am very thankful to have a partner who is understanding and listens to me even when I am angry.
When you and your partner have a Meet-Up all these flaws get put under a microscope. This means during your visit, an argument might happen.
Don’t feel like just because you are on a meet-up it doesn’t mean you can’t talk about things.
This is the best time to talk about things. Tuomas will tell you one of his favorite memories was when we were walking at the beach.
What he won’t tell you is right before we started walking we had gotten into an argument.
I used to feel afraid that if we argued during a Meet-Up that it meant that weren’t meant for each other.
That our relationship wouldn’t work out 🥺
But that one argument along the beach changed my perspective about that.
I learned that when you argue with your partner what matters the most is how you resolve the argument. Tuomas and I had talked about things we both could do better in our relationship.
We talked about how we could be a better partner to each other as well as figure out what we needed to do to better ourselves.
You need to have an effective way to handle conflict in your relationship, for us, that means taking action in working to better ourselves and the relationship.
Farting+Pooping and Other Bodily Functions
Meet-Ups are also the time where you start to see the grosser side of your partner. Things like toenail cutting, nose picking, farting, pooping, and other bodily functions.
The first time I went to Finland I bought Poo-Pourri with me because I didn’t want to poop in front of Tuomas.
Even though, I know logically that everyone poops but pooping at his apartment for the first time was so humiliating.
In all honesty, if you poop on the phone with your partner then you have nothing to worry about 😆
Learning about each other’s hygiene habits was something that goes back to learning and accepting your partner’s flaws and understanding your own.
We both had some habits that we found a bit gross. There are some I can deal with, like how funny he thinks it is to fart on me, talking to each other while someone is on the toilet, and, plucking hair.
Then there are some where we had to talk about it afterwards.
Like cutting his toenails in the living room 😅
You’ll learn that some of these hygiene habits also have a cultural role to them. So take that into consideration before getting grossed out by your partner.
A fun part of planning Meet-Ups is planning trips together with your partner during the visit.
Planning a trip within a visit is a great way for you and your partner to get to know more about each other.
Traveling together is a great way to strengthen the relationship and see how your partner handles getting lost with you.
I have learned how to embrace the awkwardness of getting lost 🧘♀️
I still get very upset when I get us lost but it has taught me to appreciate how reliable Tuomas is at getting us back on the right path.
That’s why you should embrace these awkward moments. Instead of looking within feeling upset about getting lost, try to change your mindset about what’s going on.
If you know that this a weakness start looking at your strengths. The look at your partner’s strength and know that you aren’t in it alone.
You have someone by your side, y’all will start to learn how to help each other in these situations.
Conversations About Sex
Another uncomfortable situation is talking to your partner about sex.
No matter what stage you are in.
If you’re not having sex but are touching each other, y’all should discuss what touching is considered appropriate and types of touches that aren’t.
If you want to start touching or going further then start that conversation. What makes these conversations so uncomfortable is that it requires you to be very vulnerable.
It’s important to remember while having these discussions with your partner that you keep an open mind and try not to get defensive.
These are hard conversations to have, but the more you talk to each other about touching it will be easier to be open about your feelings.
Talking About Money
Meet-Ups were the time I really learned about Tuomas’ financial habits. Tuomas is really good at saving money and keeping money.
Whereas I like to save money then spend it on something to do 💸
At first, this made me very upset. When I was younger I had a boyfriend do this to me, I was dumb at couldn’t see the signs then. But I was getting scared it was about to happen again.
That’s the “baggage” I have around my concept of money.
Tuomas had a completely different mindset. He thought it was money we had both saved for the meet-up it was like our “couple money”.
Since we were both contributing to doing this together.
It was such an uncomfortable conversation to have but an important one. I feel like a lot of times we talk about our emotional baggage and how our inner child shaped us.
But what about your financial history, have you talked to your partner about how you feel about money?
THE MOST AWKWARD OF ALL
Getting sick and having your partner take care of you is humbling. It is very humbling. When Tuomas came out to the US the first time I got sick.
It was his first weekend in the US and I needed medicine but couldn’t get up to go to the store. There was one within walking distance so I told Tuomas what I needed.
This man showed up for me that day
I was humiliated because of the miserable state I was in. So he went to the store for me and got me everything I needed.
What impresses me about this is the fact that English is his second or third language. Not even his first.
There are still times when he doesn’t know an English word or phrase.
I could not imagine doing that in Finland. If he gets sick then I will definitely do the same for him.
I just appreciated how much he was there for me that day.
Getting sick in front of your partner can feel so awkward. Even though it feels that way, it can also feel loving. Knowing the fact that your partner cares about you even when you’re sick.
Love All of Your Awkward Moments
Loving all the awkward moments during your relationship helps you and your partner create better communication with each other.
Embracing moments like these help to create a stronger bond with each other. You and your partner will begin to understand each other on a deeper more intimate level with each other.
You’ll also stop having as intense awkward moments because you and your partner have talked about how each other feels.