How To Grow as a Couple During Meet-Ups
Meet-Ups, are those small windows of time where we can finally see our partners. It’s the time we all strive for and use it to help console with the distance.
What I also love about meet-ups is the fact it gives you the time to feel like a real couple. You and your partner are finally able to do the things you’ve dreamed about together. Even mundane things like going to the grocery store.
You can finally do everything together 🎉
Which means, meet-ups are huge whirlwind of emotions.
Suddenly, we’re trying to push all these things to do in a short amount of time. You want to tackle sightseeing, spending time with the family, and spending time getting to know the other side of this person.
Have Intense Conversations
Don’t think that just because you’re on a meet-up doesn’t mean y’all don’t continue to have real conversations.
Keep having those deep discussion. See how they handle these situations in person, come to understand why they act the way they do.
Learn how to respond to these situations rather than worrying about how to react.
Meet-Ups were time Tuomas and I could really talk about what changes we need to make in the relationship in order to strengthen it.
This is actually one of our favorite memories too. It was when we went to Outer Banks, NC with my family.
We were walking down the street, eating ice cream, when I spilled some on my new outfit.
That’s when I freaked out, trying to think of how to get the stain out quickly, and Tuomas was standing there looking at me.
It was because I didn’t know what was going through his mind. Which made me feel angry because I felt he could see me needing help but wasn’t responding to help.
I was making a lot of assumptions 🤦♀️
Because this “block” used to come up for us a lot, I got too angry about it and felt that he was too passive.
So we talked it out. We looked within and ask ourselves why do we think we act that way.
Intense conversations like these help to fully develop empathy with each other. This is how you are able to establish and create change in your relationship.
The alternative is to not talk about whatever “blocks” y’all are having. Instead, just let it fester and boil until it blows up in your face.
No one wants that, it sounds and feels gross 🤢
That’s why meet-ups are the perfect time to really address these blocks. Of course you should be having fun with your partner, sightseeing, doing cute things together.
Meet-Ups are also the time to put in the work to keep the relationship going.
Meet-Up Are Like Progress Checkpoints
Meet-Ups are like progress checkpoints in a relationship. Think about it, what is the normal progression of a relationship in a close-proximity relationship?
Start Dating > Go on Dates > Become Exclusive > Make a Commitment Together > Get a Plant
Whereas an LDR Looks like this:
Start Dating > Become Exclusive> Make a Commitment > Get a Plant > Go on Dates
Then for the long distance version, think of it as a continuous loop.
Each and every meet-up is like a commitment checkpoint. It’s saying you’re still in these together with me. You still want to overcome the distance with me.
But when meet-ups become our commitment check-point what about all the other relationship milestones?
Ones like going on a trip together, moving in together, or getting engaged? These are all areas where you fully develop your relationship with your partner.
Sure, you can cover all these things in one meet-up, but I suggest you give each of these events their own special time or “theme” to your meet-up.
Does the Length of Your Meet-Ups Matter?
Depending on what stage y’all are at, in your long distance relationship journey will depend on how long you should see each other.
There are different types of meet-ups too. You have some that are full vacation mode, some are for a quick visit. Then there are those meet-ups where you are learning what it means to live together.
That’s why the length of your meet-up matters.
Meet-Ups for times < 2 weeks
These are really great period of time have fun dates. Maybe even a weekend getaway and meeting the family. It’s like the going on dates phase of meet-ups, from that chart before.
It’s also a good amount of time for your first meet-up
Meet-Ups that are 1 month
This is perfect for vacations and seeing each other in their living environment. This is when you start learning more about your partner. You can finally see how they act in their daily life.
You’ll learn more about their habits are and things they would do, with you there in their daily life.
Meet-Ups that are 2 months+
These are the Meet-Ups where you are planning to close the distance. You are now able to see how you would fit into your partner’s daily life, what your roles would be as a partner in the household.
You see and learn things you couldn’t unless you spent that extended period of time with each other. These are also hard Meet-Ups for all couples to do due to their personal lives.
For us, we did this Meet-Up during one of Tuomas summer vacations. Granted I was working a majority of the time during that Meet-Up.
Luckily I was able to have a week vacation.
During those two months, we learned so much more about each other, our lives, and daily routines. Something that would be hard to learn during shorter meet-up.
How Often Should You See Your Long-Distance Partner?
Which brings me to the next point, you see your partner when your wallet says you can.
If I had to put a number on it then at least once a year if you’re crossing a lot of time zones, but I feel like we are asking the wrong question here.
How much can you afford to see your partner? If your plane tickets are cheap, and you have the money to spend while you’re there and vice versa.
Then do it, have a meet-up.
We were able to visit each other once a year, over the past 3 years of our long distance relationship.
I know we do a lot of things for love, but you shouldn’t be putting yourself into a critical financial situation just for love.
Remember, Meet-Ups are a time where we are learning more about our partners.
If you are able to meet with them more frequently, have the same intensity and duration as a longer meet-up then y’all should do it.
The frequency wasn’t an option for us, so we had to do longer Meet-Ups. At the end of the day, it’s all what you and your partner can do financially.
What Should You Do on Meet-Ups
There are going to be times when you can’t be with your partner 24/7. That’s why you should have some plan for some solo time + adventures during your visit.
It’s a fun way to go explore on your own and to reflect on your emotions.
During your stay you and your partner should do something new together. Maybe go visit a museum, go for a walk, try a new place something they haven’t dont before.
That way you can both enjoy new experiences together.
Also check out some of your partner’s favorite places, who knows it could be a new favorite for you too.
Whatever you decide to do on your Meet-Up, you should definitely take lots of pictures. This is one thing I regret doing, not taking enough pictures of photos of each other.
So take lots of pictures with your partner during Meet-Ups. Once you’ve gotten enough pictures together, ditch your phone.
The most important thing you should be doing during a Meet-Up is spending quality time with each other. Enjoy being there physically with each other.
Planning Your Next Meet-Up?
Meet-Ups are the glue that holds long distance relationships together. Without them, you are only seeing one side of your partner.
That’s why Meet-Ups are the key to a successful long distance relationship. When you are able to see your partner through all lenses and learn how talk about difficult things face to face.
Then that’s a sign that you and your partner are ready to close the distance.
One way to get there, is through meet-ups.