During a Meet-Up will come a point where you will meet your partnerās family members. And in that moment you might be exactly how I was.
Totally freaking outĀ š¤Æ
Before I met his family, Tuomas and I talked a lot about them. We made sure that I knew how to pronounce the names of his immediate family and some of his extended family.
It was reassuring to have a general idea about who everyone was and his relationship with them.
I might have also done some Facebook + Instagram stalking
Itās just one of those things you do š šāāļø
Try to gather as much information before so that way you are fully prepared to meet the most important people to your special person.Ā
Here are some tips to help you navigate meeting your partnerās family for the first time.Ā
Learn About Cultural Differences
The first time I went to Finland I met Tuomasā family. At first, it was very overwhelming.Ā
This was when the realization hit me. We are in a multi-cultural relationship.Ā
Multi-cultural relationships are tricky to navigate through. Itās understanding that whatever you identify as you social normal, isnāt normal anymore.
Youāll notice that ways of thinking and how things are done are going to be completely different.Ā
When I met Tuomasā family was a little overwhelming. We had just met, and exchange pleasantries. Then all of a sudden I was naked in a sauna with them.
If you donāt know about Sauna, itās a very Finnish thing to do. And you know what they say do as the Finnish do.Ā
When youāre in a long distance relationship, you will be challenged to adapt your cultural lens to your partnerās. It will take time, but try to see the world from their perspective, especially when you are visiting their country.
Learning yāallās cultural difference will also help when talking to family. A lot of times they will be impressed that you know so much about their culture.Ā
Be Yourself
It can be a lot when you meet your partnerās family for the first time, thatās why itās important to breathe and be yourself.Ā
Also, this isnāt me saying be the best version of yourself, because that is unneeded stress and pressure.Ā
Just be completely yourself šÆ
Thatās the version of you that your partner fell in love with so be confident in it. If social situations make you feel anxious then talk to your partner about it.Ā
Discuss with your partner what type of setting youāll be meeting everyone in, that way yāall can work together as a team when you are meeting the family.Ā
Bring a Small Gift
I was raised in a house that celebrated the idea of southern hospitality and what it means to be a good guest. Southern hospitality has been ingrained in me.
Thatās why whenever I have been invited into someoneās home I bring a gift. Itās my way of saying āThank you for accepting me into your homeā.Ā
My gifts are usually small, like a bottle of wine, fruit, cheeses, a bouquet of flowers, etc. Basically, something that you can pick up at the grocery store on your way thereĀ
A small gift is a nice gesture and itās a great icebreaker.
It helps to give you something else to talk about other than the grilling questions like how did yāall meet, what your future life plans, etc.
Get to Know More About Them and Your Partner
What I love about meeting Tuomasā family is that I get a chance to learn about a side of him that I never knew before.Ā
Thatās also when you get to see all the baby pictures š
Asking your partnerās family more about themselves is also a great way to steer the conversation away from you. Especially if you are feeling uncomfortable talking about yourself.
If your partnerās family doesnt speak the same language as you, I would recommend using google translate.Ā
Iāll be the first to admit that itās not the best as it gives you very weird translations.
Itās the thought and effort put into communicating with your partnerās family that matters.
Your partnerās family will appreciate you trying to bond with them. It will show them that you are engaged in your relationship.Ā
You never know, you might be able to bond over some music.Ā
This is how I was able to bond with Tuomasā grandparents when I went out there. We bonded over Christmas Music and figuring out which songs were in both cultures.Ā
Stay Present and Limit Distractions
When you are meeting family it is best to limit all distractions so you can stay present and engaged in what yāall are doing.
Really though, nothing is worst than having a guest over and there are in their cell phone the entire time.
It could be seen as being disrespectful, even though some use it as a way to escape the pressure of talking.Ā
If you are someone who likes to take lots of pictures and share it to your social media.
You should consider asking your partnerās family for permission first. In some cultures, this may not be socially acceptable behavior.Ā
Donāt Overthink Your Outfit
I am the type of person who gets so excited when meeting people because it gives me a chance to show my personality in what I am wearing.Ā
I also know that there is a time and place for certain outfits.Ā
When meeting family itās best to dress casually. Keep it low key and simple.
You will feel more comfortable and you can still make a casual outfit really cute with the right accessories.Ā
Offer to Help
What I love that Tuomas has such a big family. It is also interesting to see what everyoneās role is when it comes to setting up the dinner table to breaking it down.Ā
This also made me feel a little left out. I wanted to help in some way because I hate just sitting there doing nothing.Ā
So I jumped in and asked his sisters what I could do to help. This was also a great way for me to get to know the family dynamics a little better.Ā
Offering to help also let me see what Tuomasā role was, then we did the role together.
Because washing dishes is a team effortĀ šŖ
If you do decide to offer help, make sure you are doing it from a place of sincerity. That means listening to otherās opinions on how they want you to handle the task.Ā
Limit PDA
Is you donāt know, PDA stands for public display of affection. Depending on you and your partners cultures PDA can mean different things.
It would be a good idea to talk to your partner about what type of touching youāre okay with in front of others and vice versa.
Especially in front of family, you and your partner should discuss what is and isnāt okay in their parentās household.
Holding hands is the safest š¤
Try to avoid being overly affectionate with you partner in front of their family. I understand that this a time where youāre excited to finally be with his partner.
Remember you are also there to visit them in their lives too.Ā
At the End of the Day, Manners Matter MostĀ
All of these tips circle back to one theme, respect. When you are meeting your partnerās family for the first time you are entering their homes and lives.Ā
When you are in a multicultural relationship itās important to be respectful to culturesĀ
If you are nervous about meeting family, then discuss it with your partner. Let them know what you are nervous about and ways that yāall can both overcome the nerves together.
Check Out These Other Posts About Long Distance Meet-Ups:
5 Things You Must Do During Your First Meet-Up
How To Grow as a Couple During Meet-Ups
