9 Simple Ways to Shake Pre Meet-Up Nerves
Meeting for the first time in a long distance relationship is probably the most nerve-wracking and exhilarating moment you can share as a couple.
When I flew to meet Tuomas for the first time I was so nervous. Looking back, I am happy that I went to Finland to meet him.
I can’t even begin to imagine how nervous I would’ve been waiting for him at the airport.
Meeting for the first time is such a special milestone for long distance relationships.
It’s when you and your partner are able to find out how your relationship works in real life.
How to Get Rid of Nerves Before Meeting your Online Partner
As Tuomas and I get closer to closing the distance we started to look back at our relationship. Especially recounting the first time we met. We were both so nervous and excited at the same time.
Actually, I still get nervous before we meet.
It could be because I missed my flight back to the US after our first meet-up 😅
That fear still haunts me 😱
If you are a never-met then try out these tips to shake your nerves before your first meet-up.
Understand That Nerves and Excitement are Best Friends
If two emotions were to be tight-nit ride or die best friends it would be nervousness and excitement.
These emotions create the same physiological response in your body. They are both parts of that epinephrine response also known as fight or flight.
In other words, these emotions really get your heart pumping.
The only difference between these emotions is the thought behind them. Being nervous is more related to a negative emotion, whereas excitement is related to a positive emotion.
Once you understand how closely linked these feelings are to each other. It is easier to trick your brain into believing the jitters you are feeling are positive.
Those jitters are actually anticipation, hope, and excitement for the adventure you are about to take part in.
Once you view it from this perspective you’ll slowly learn to love the adventure you’re in.
Talk About What Makes You Excited+Nervous
After you’ve understood the link between excitement and nervousness, talk to your partner about what you are feeling.
When it came to our first meet-up I was excited about so many things. I was flying out of the country for the first time. About to meet this amazing person who loved me for me.
Not to mention I was nervous that Tuomas wouldn’t like me because I am a little bit luscious. Or that our relationship wouldn’t translate as well in real life as it does online.
Honestly, it can feel overwhelming trying to tackle all those emotions on your own.
That is why it’s so important to talk to your partner about how you are feeling.
Check-in on your partner too. They could be feeling insecure about meeting for the first time as well.
Tuomas and I always say that we’ll experience the same feelings but at different stages.
Discuss What You Want Your First Meeting to Look Like
If you haven’t noticed, there is a lot of conversation happening about y’all’s first meeting. It’s important to be one the same page at every stage of the meeting.
Especially, when it comes to discussing what you want your first meeting to look like.
Some people want signs, flowers, or their partner to be all dressed up waiting for them at a specific spot. When it comes to meeting the first time you should make it whatever you want ti to be.
You want to be fancy go ahead do your thing! Or if you want to be more relaxed and meet somewhere other than the airport, do that too.
When Tuomas and I met for the first time, we both wanted to dress nicely for each other. I also wanted him to ask me out all over again.
Yes, you read that right 🙈
I was so paranoid about meeting him for the first time. I thought that he was going to dump me on spot. So I had him ask me to be his girlfriend again.
I told him, once he asked me to be his girlfriend in person I would know I could be comfortable. Then I could begin to feel comfortable and let down my guard.
If you’re like me, and couldn’t fully trick my mind into being excited rather than nervous.
Bring it up to your partner and talk to them about ways they can reassure you when you arrive.
Watch Videos Of Others Meeting for the First Time
Before our first meeting, we scrolled the internet to find other’s that have been in the same situation.
That’s when we found compilation videos on youtube of other couples meeting for the first time.
It was very satisfying to watch other couples meet for the first time. It also gave us some hope that things will be alright for our first meet-up.
Watching these videos will also help y’all to have a clearer picture of your first meeting together. I attribute to watching compilation videos to relieving a lot of the stress and nerves we had.
This could also be a fun activity you and your partner could do together. Create a video describing how you feel right before meeting your partner and then record them walking up to you.
Have Confidence About Your Relationship
I know I am going to sound like a broken record.
The best way to build confidence in long distance relationships is through video and voice calls.
If y’all have been doing; video and voice calls, as well as learning more about your partner through scheduled date nights. Then you should feel pretty confident with your relationship.
Your partner knows what you look like, sound like, and they probably know about that weird habit of yours.
Yeah, you know which one I am talking about 😋
Once you and your partner started the conversation about meeting for the first time; that means they already accept you for the person that you are.
At this point, y’all have already talked for countless hours and have done numerous video calls.
Trust in the bond you’ve created with your partner, realize that you partner loves you for who you are.
Take a Deep Breath
Taking a deep breath, cliche as it sounds will help you feel a lot better.
Especially when you start the travel process, it’ll help you to slow down the excited breathing you are feeling,
I’m not going to lie to you, meeting for the first time can be overwhelming. That’s why it’s important to stay centered during this whole process.
Before the day y’all meet up; try to do your best to stay active with your normal day to day routine.
Staying active and maintaining your daily routine helps to ease your mind of pre meet-up nerves because it allows you to focus on the task you are doing.
Instead of just having your mind wander all over the place with what if’s and other excited thinking patterns.
Remember you’re excited, not nervous 😉
You have already established a connection with the person you are about to meet; take a deep breath, and have confidence in the love that y’all created.
Remember the Reasons Why You Are Meeting
If you find yourself still having a hard time with jitters and being confident. Then shift your focus to the reasons you are meeting your partner.
When Tuomas and I started talking about meeting for the first time; we decided to because we loved each other’s company and how we made each other feel.
I’m sure it’s the same way for you and your partner 🥰
You love the way your partner makes you feel. How understanding they are to you, your life, and the situations that you lived through.
All those things that made you the wonderful person you are today.
Trust in that love, and use it as a reminder of why you want to meet them in person.
Understand That It Might Take Time to Feel Comfortable
When the moment arrives that y’all meet each other face to face for the first time. Make some time to feel uncomfortable, and know that it’s totally okay!
Again, y’all are both so excited to finally meet and be in each other’s arms. You just might need some time to adjust and figure out your feelings.
During our first meet-up, Tuomas was wondering why I was so shy all of a sudden. During the two years he knew me, he knew me as this loud outspoken person.
Then here I was, quiet and observing, this was a side of my personality he hadn’t seen before.
If you’re anything like me I was traveling out of the country for the first time. I was seeing and hearing things I had never heard before. It was a sensory overload.
I also might have been slightly jet-lagged 🥴
By the second day, I was my normal outspoken self. That’s why it’s important to give yourself and your partner time to adjust to their new surroundings.
As well as, time to understand what it’s like being together in person for the first time.
Have a Back-Up Plan
If you are still feeling pretty anxious about meeting your partner for the first time; then talk to your partner about your fears and make a backup plan.
The first time I went to Finland to meet Tuomas, I was excited, nervous, and terrified. Not to mention, I kept playing that “what if” game with myself.
Then I realized that no matter how many times I tried to calm myself down; I needed to find a way to have control in this situation.
For me, that meant making sure I had a credit card for unexpected expenses. Checking out local hotel prices, and some things I would want to do by myself.
I sure as hell wasn’t going to let a hypothetical broken heart ruin my experience in a new country 💁♀️
Having a backup plan might seem excessive to some; but for those who like to have some control in an uncontrollable situation, I would highly recommend it.
Are You Feeling Excited About Your First Meet-Up?
Your first meet-up is such a fun and awkward time.
It’s fun because you and your partner are about to start on the next phase of your long distance journey. It’s awkward because you’re now learning a new side of your partner.
A side of them that you can’t see through video calls or understand in a voice call.
Meeting for the first time is truly a special time; so enjoy the process and the adventure that you and your partner about to begin.