How to use Physical Touch in a Long Distance Relationship

When your love language is physical touch it can be hard to show your partner how much you love and miss them. Which can sometimes leave that love language feeling unfulfilled.  

This is probably the hardest feeling for us in our long distance relationship. Sure we tell each other how much we love and miss each other but sometimes I just want a hug. 

I just want to hug Tuomas 🤗😆😍

In a long distance relationship there are other ways to feel your partner’s presence than without actually touching them.

Some of my favorite ways include;mailing something with my perfume on it to him.

Or just straight up stealing his t-shirt on our last day together. It’s a small act but it lets us know that we both love and want to hold each other. 

9 Ways to Incorporate Physical Touch into a Long Distance Relationship

So what is exactly the physical touch love language? Does it just mean you need to touch your partner for them to be happy? 

If Tuomas were to just randomly poke me, he might get a look that could kill 😅😒

With this love language it is actually referring to how you actually touch them. It also makes you think, when it is appropriate to touch them?

This love language could be hard for some people to understand because some people don’t like to be touched. Then there are some people who believe that touching only leads to more sexual and sensual things. 

But that’s not how this love language rolls 😎

A touch at the right time can be encouraging to your partner, it lets them know that you are there for them.

A touch can also be comforting for your partner and allows them to feel that you are there for them.

During the past three years of dating each other we have had to get creative when it comes to the physical touch aspect of our love language. 

Steal Their Hoodie!!

Every fall I see the meme about “steal his hoodie” season and now I am convinced that their love language is physical touch

That or I’m low-key a kleptomaniac, but I prefer to think more positively about my hoodie stealing habits 💁‍♀️

Now I don’t literally mean steal your partner’s hoodie but instead ask them if you could borrow a hoodie or t-shirt and keep it until the next time you meet. 

Wearing your partner’s hoodie or t-shirt can also be a way to let people know that they are in a relationship with someone they love and care about.  

By having an article of your partner’s clothing you are able to get that sense of closeness and comfort. It’s like cuddling without actually touching. 

Send Them Your Scent

I don’t think you can actually chalk this up to the science of pheromones but part of the reason I steal my Snowman’s hoodie is because it smells like him. 

It’s nice to have his scent around even when we aren’t able to be there physically for each other.

Their scent is also a reminder that they were there, and what y’all had when you were together was really real. 

If y’all haven’t had a meet-up yet or have a while until the next meet-up then you can mail them a t-shirt sprayed with your favorite perfume/cologne.

One time I mailed Tuomas origami hearts and sprayed my perfume on them so he could smell my perfume. 

You’d be surprised how much a smell can be linked to a memory, and what a better way to remember your partner than with their scent?

Send a Picture with a Frame 

With everything in the world being digital it is nice to take a step back from the instant gratification and send something physical through good ole snail mail. 


And what a better way then feeling your partner’s presence than with a picture of the two of y’all together.

It’s a nice way to see the one you love as well as a nice memory of being together next with your partner.

This also allows you to express your creativity. I made a pokeball picture frame for Tuomas when we first started dating and he even took it to his parents house during the quarantine. 

It made me feel really good to know that he wanted to take the picture frame with him and have part of me be there with him. 

Another option would be to send a small physical photo of the two of y’all together that your partner could put into their wallet. That way no matter where they go they will always have you around. 

Moving Around Together

Moving around together is a great way to incorporate physical touch into your long distance relationship.

When you move around together you can feel what your partner is feeling and it is also a great way to stay active.

Right now Tuomas and I are doing a plank challenge together.

We have a lot of fun doing this because it allows us to pay more attention to our own bodies and learn about each other’s body.

Establishing that connection allows y’all to learn more about each other. 

I could also be looking at this from a physical therapy standpoint (since that was my main job) but it let’s me know about what muscles are weak and what we need to strengthen next.

It also makes me really happy to know I can help if Tuomas has pain despite him being so far away. 

Moving together also helps you work towards something together which in turn makes you and your partner feel a deeper sense of connection. 

Video Calls

If you have been around my blog for a while you may think I sound like a broken record but

Video 👏 Calls 👏 Are 👏 Important 👏

Not only does it affirm the person you are dating is actually the person that they say they are but it helps develop a connection that allows you to become more intimate with each other.

In this sense intimacy is used very broadly. The act of intimacy in itself means to develop a connection of trust with your partner.

Video calls are a way to establish honesty and clear communication with your partner which will create intimacy with your partner.

Video calls will help nurture intimacy with your partner and can be displayed either emotionally or physically. As always physical intimacy is something that requires the consent of both parties.

If your partner is ready to take that step with you to be physically intimate then discuss beforehand what they are and are not comfortable with. 

Touch Me Here 

If your or your partner’s love language is physical touch it is important to talk about what is and is not appropriate touching.

Everyone has their own unique definition based on their preferences.

As the plus sized beauty that I am, there are just some places on my body that I don’t want to be touched because it makes me so self conscious.

So before Tuomas and I had our first meet-up we talked about where and when I liked to be touched.

I am also not a fan of public display of affection. In the past I’ve had people break up with me because of that but it just makes me uncomfortable. 

I can’t help who I am 💁‍♀️

It is important to let your partner know what things make you comfortable and uncomfortable. By letting your partner know your preferences on touching; it allows them to become more intimate and build trust with you.

Talk About Cuddling 

Now that I have gotten all the serious conversation about being intimate and appropriate touching it’s time to dive into the warm fuzzy things.

When you talk about cuddling it can be a form of visualization meditation. It allows you and your partner to imagine how it is to feel each other.

Visualization also allows you to add the 5 senses to cuddling. 

What does it feel like to have your partner next to you?

Can you feel your partner’s arms holding you?

Do you smell your partner’s cologne/perfume? 

Are you laying in your room or your partner’s room? What do you see?

What does it sound like in the room, can you hear your partner’s breathing?

Taste… well then you’re just thinking about a make out session instead of cuddling 😋

I love talking to Tuomas about cuddling.

I love telling him how I wish I could be the big spoon or little spoon. It doesn’t matter as long as we are imagining holding each other. 

Squeeze Something Soft

Grab something soft, it could be a pillow, comforter, or even a stuffed toy.

That sensation of squeezing something helps to relieve pent up frustration you may have from not being able to physically be with your partner. 

Gifts for LDR

These pillows cases by BoldLoft are a perfect example of how to feel connected with your partner despite the distance.

When you squeeze a pillow it triggers your sense of touch and relays it to the brain to release dopamine, that feel good chemical your body produces. 

Tuomas and I usually have this urge usually before and after meet-ups. We find it to be very comforting. 

Sleep on the Call

This one is a grey area for me.

Sleeping on a call with each other can be viewed as quality time and then other times it fits the physical touch realm.

So now I am deeming it as both.

Sleeping on the call applies to physical touch because once again it allows for that visualization we talked about before.

You are able to feel the connection between you and your partner just by knowing that they are on the other side of the phone doing the exact same thing.

The added bonus to the visualization is that when you sleep on the call you are able to hear how your partner sleeps. 

My Snowman snores a little and I just make a lot of noise because I move around a lot when I sleep.

Those little things you learn about each other way before actually meeting can provide a sense of intimacy.

Is Your Partner’s Love Language Physical Touch?

Sometimes I feel like the love language of physical touch can get a bad rep. People can see it as being clingy or all around needy. It can also be misunderstood as being something more sensual than it tends to be. 

When actually this love language is asking to be comforted.

Your partner’s love language is physical touch, one touch from you (or in our sense the visualization of touching) is viewed as something reliable, safe, and a loving gesture. 

The key thing to remember about this love language is that touch establishes trust and intimacy with your partner. And both are needed for a happy and healthy relationship

Are you ready to learn more ways to incorporate the love languages into your long distance relationship?

Then you and your partner should Take This Relationship Building Course Together: Love Language Date Night

Check Out These Other Great Posts

10 Virtual Escape Room Games Perfect for LDR Date Nights

50 Great Questions to ask while in a Long Distance Relationship

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