LDR Guide: 7 Steps for Coping with Post Meet-Up Depression

Everyone talks about post travel depression, but in long distance relationships, we have that plus post meet-up depression. 

Not only did I have post travel depression from exploring a new country, culture, and way of thinking.

I also had to leave someone I loved so much, with only a vague idea of when we will be able to see each other again. 

The first time I came back from visiting my Snowman, my heart broke. The void that I had felt in my heart for the longest time was finally filled.

Then after a month of being together, I had to get on a plane back home and suddenly I felt that void again.

7 Ways to Thrive after a Meet-Up

Parting ways after a fun meet-up is hard, and I hate to break the news to you but they will keep getting harder every time. 

These are strategies I use to get through the post meet-up blues. 

Have a Good Cry

The last time Tuomas left I thought I was good. I was surprised by the fact that he was doing more crying this time around than me. 

Normally, I am the one crying my eyes out, five days before we leave each other 😭

From my experience, the post meet-up depression hits harder for the person that is leaving. 

Either way, if you are the one leaving or the one being left, you are going to feel a bit of emptiness once your partner isn’t by your side anymore. 

Instead of fighting those emotions, let yourself have a good cry.

Crying helps to relieve the pain 🤗

When you cry, your body is releasing those stressful emotions replacing it with calming emotions. 

Crying also helps you to be more empathetic, it proves that you and your partner have a deep connection and truly love each other.

Your tears are a valuable tool for healing, don’t deny yourself of that by trying to be strong. 

Take a Day Off

After you have had yourself a good cry, you should give yourself an extra day to feel sad. I always tried to rush back into work, making myself busy so I wouldn’t have to feel, let alone process my emotions.

Don’t be like me, it sucked doing things that way.

You need to take that day off in order for your body to heal. It also gives you time to reflect on the meet-up. It allows you to fondly remember those times you just shared with your partner.

Let’s be honest, if you go back to work, the only things that are going to happen will be your co-workers forcing that toxic positivity down your throat. 

Saying things like “You’ll be able to see them soon” or “If it’s so painful then why don’t you just date someone closer?”

Yes, my co-workers literally said these things to me 🙄

Taking the day off after your partner leaves also gives you time to practice self-care. Whether that is playing video games, giving yourself a spa day, or continuing the crying from the first step.

Take that time for yourself, it will make getting back to “normal life” much easier. 

Talk to Friends and Family about Your Meet-Up

Then when you are ready, start talking about the memories of your trip with your family and friends. 

This is such an important thing to do because it helps your friends and family to understand the relationship you have with your partner better.

Your friends and family will see through your expressions, mannerisms, and body language your feelings for your partner.

This is beneficial to y’all’s relationship in the long run 👌

Before you talk to your friends and family about the meet-up make sure you have given yourself time to process all your emotions.

I’ll give you an example of what I am talking about.

Literally every time I have come back from a Meet-Up, my Grandma will ask me for all the details.

There’s not a problem with her asking me, I want to share my adventures with her. The problem I have is she asks me right when I get into the car after sitting on the plane crying for 10+ hours.

It’s like Grandma chill I still need to figure out my life 😅😂 

If your family is anything like mine, then let them know you need time to process everything and that you are tired from traveling. 

Then when you’re ready, start sharing your adventure with them. 

Take Time Before You Do a Video Call

Another thing I want you to understand, all these things don’t need to happen on the same day. Take your time to go through each step. 

Especially video calls. Video calls are so painful after a meet-up. It usually takes us 3-4 days to do a video call once we are settled back in our own countries. 

This tip is mostly from experience. We would try to do video calls right away but I would end up crying the entire time, then I would make him cry.

Needless to say, we were both unable to do anything without crying and feeling sad that we left each other.

There is no need to rush to do video calls. Take your time, get used to being in a long distance relationship again. Once you feel like you are good, do a video call, get used to seeing each other. Then plan your next meet-up!

Plan Your Next Meet-Up

Planning your next Meet-Up will help give you and your partner that momentum to keep the relationship moving forward. 

It also helps with re-establishing the bond y’all have created in your long distance relationship. 

Planning a meet-up is a great date night activity and helps you and your partner have something to look forward to.

It also helps to create a clear goal in your mind of the next time you will be able to see each other.

There is something fulfilling about setting up a countdown of when you will be able to be reunited with your partner again. 

Planning your next Meet-Up also gives you and your partner time to reflect and look back at your previous meet-up. 

It creates more discussion around what restaurants y’all liked, activities you would want to do again, and maybe some experience that you would give a hard no to in the future. 

This is a time of reflection, laughter, face-palming, and hope. So whatever you do, don’t skip this step!

Find the Right LDR Community 

During my relationship with Tuomas, we had joined a community for others in long distance relationships. 

We had made some good friendships there, but over time we realized that it wasn’t the right community for us. 

What we really needed, was to join a community of like-minded couples.

Couples that were willing to look within, and understand things together, in order to understand bumps in the relationship.

That’s how we ended up finding this community on Instagram. we found other accounts that were willing to put in the work in order to close the distance. 

It was also nice talking to other couples who were in the same situation as us. It gave us a sense of solidarity with these couples, and it was nice to not have to explain over and over again “How does an LDR work?”

Follow me on Instagram and explore the hashtag #ldrcommunity to find a group of really amazing people. So thankful to have a platform like Instagram to share our journey as well as see other couples journeys.

 

 

 

 

 

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A post shared by Jasmin (@jazzupyourwanderlust) on Sep 12, 2020 at 10:31pm PDT

Look Back at Pictures+Videos

Another thing I love about finding communities on different social media platforms is the ability to share pictures and photos of your meet-up with everyone. 

This wasn’t something I did until this past year. I normally kept all those photos and videos of us together on my phone, as it was a special time for me and him. 

After finding the community on Instagram I realized that I was denying myself a part of the healing process.

Taking the time to look back at photos and videos helped me re-connect on a deeper level with Tuomas. 

We started talking more about our meet-ups, relive some of those experiences, and remember things that the other had forgotten about.

It was a nice way to slow us down and enjoy the time we had spent with each other. 

Healing After a Meet-Up 

I wish I had a magic wand, that would erase all the pain felt for after a meet-up with your partner.

On the other hand, that pain allows us to better appreciate the love you feel for each other. 

So give yourself time to heal, allow yourself to feel sad, then when you are ready to pick up the pieces again remember all the precious memories you created with each other.

Use those memories as momentum to keep pushing you forward, until you finally reach the day that the journey is only one way.

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