I remember when I first heard about the 5 Love Languages.
It was around the time I finished school and was just starting a long distance relationship, with a guy who lived in Finland.
We thought the test would be fun to take during one of our date nights.
So we took it and found out our love languages were the exact same. We were really excited about having the same love language.
Until we really looked at our answers, Quality Time and Physical Touch.
What The Hell 🤦♀️
We thought this was probably the most unluckiest situation out there.
How to Spend Quality Time Together in an LDR
It’s crazy that two people that have to take a 10+ hours plane trip in order to see each other; would have quality time and physical touch as a love language.
Of course that would happen to us.
But that didn’t stop us trying to figure out ways that we can incorporate our love language into our relationship.
We learned quickly that our date nights and planning meet-ups were perfect examples of quality time.
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Happy Valentine’s Day @katmand0r 😍 It’s crazy to think that next year I’ll be celebrating the day with you in Finland. No more long distance relationship. Just the two of us in the same time zone.❤️💕 :: :: :: #longdistancerelationship #longdistance #lovingfromadistance #ldrcouples #ldr #ldrproblems #ldrlove #ldrstory #ldrgoals #ldrlife #longdistancerelationships #longdistancerelationshipswork #closingthegap #closingthedistance
1. Prioritize Video Calls
What better way to spend quality time with a person other than just staring at their face.
I know it sounds funny but every time I do a video call with Tuomas I just freeze. It’s different than receiving a picture from him. It’s just nice to see his smiling face and tune out everything around me.
Swoon. I’m such a hopeless romantic. 🥰
Video chats are beneficial for any long distance relationship. It allows you to build trust with your partner by being able to see them in their environment and living their day to day life.
Video chats are also a great way to really get to know your partner.
On one of our first date nights we explored each other’s apartment.
I enjoyed seeing how he set up his space. It was also nice to learn more about the things he likes and hear some of the stories behind different objects in his room.
2. Scheduling Date Nights
Scheduling a date night each month is a great way to spend quality time with each other. It shows your partner that you want to have them around.
Having dates is also a great way for you and your partner to learn more about each other while at a distance.
Dates have a way of bringing y’all closer together and build intimacy despite being countless miles apart.
When Tuomas and I have our date nights we make sure to limit outside distractions and try to avoid social media
Unless our date nights consisted of finding hilarious memes together 🤣
Again the main point of quality time love language is to spend time with each other doing and creating new memories together.
3. Cook Together
This is the one activity we do during the majority of our date nights. By cooking together we are able to learn more about each other’s food preferences.
The best example is every time it’s Tuomas’ turn to cook he wants beef.
Whereas I like to go for chicken or salmon. I also learned that Tuomas doesn’t like sweet potatoes as much as I do.
How else would you learn these small details about each other’s food preferences?
The only way you can learn about them is by spending quality time doing so.
I also like to think that our cooking dates have helped both of our culinary skills grow.
Which is also good because after we close the distance Tuomas is going to help cook dinner 🤤
4. Read a Book Together
Let’s face it, there are going to be days where you and your partner won’t be able to talk at all.
That’s what I love the most about this idea is that you can do it together without, you know, actually being together.
Reading books together also lets you know more about your partner’s likes and dislikes.
You’re learning more about what type of books y’all would enjoy together.
This also allows you and your partner to develop a greater sense of trust together.
By talking about the books y’all like to read it creates a safe space for sharing and debating ideas.
5. Take Online Quizzes
If you haven’t already taken the 5 Love Languages Quiz you really should, because that’s what this post is all about.
I also recommend that y’all take the apologies and anger quiz on their site in addition to the regular quiz that I linked.
The other day Tuomas and I did the apologies quiz.
Here we are about to close the distance and we are still learning ways to better communicate with each other.
That’s the key to making any relationship work, looking for ways to improve your current system to make them even better and stronger than before.
Of course there are also fun quiz websites like Buzzfeed, and I have also seen some on YouTube.
Most of all, I enjoy talking about our results and why we chose that certain answer.
6. Go for a Walk Together
Going on walks with your partner is a great way to keep your relationship moving.
A lot of times in long distance relationships we are sitting on the phone. Why not go on a walk together?
You get endorphins from it, you know that good feeling of accomplishing something.
Walking together also creates a bond because y’all are able to connect with each other by doing it together.
It is also a great opportunity for you to share your world with them and see the earth through their eyes.
Walking brings you closer together, and helps make us all to realize that the world isn’t that big after all.
7. Watch a Series
Just like reading the same book when your partner isn’t around y’all could watch the same show.
You learn more about each other’s preferences like the fact that Tuomas watches some pretty obscure artsy films…
Like really obscure
Or the fact that I refuse with every fiber in my soul to watch horror movies.
We also found a common ground in films we like to watch.
Thankfully Netflix is starting to show some of the same shows in the Nordic version as they do in the US.
It makes it easier for us to watch the same shows; we’re really excited for the return of Umbrella Academy!
8. Send Texts Throughout the Day
My absolute most favorite text I get from my Snowman is a simple “Good Morning” or “Good Night”.
I love it so much, because this text let’s me know he’s thinking of me and he is creating time for me.
We all have our own lives and can’t always talk or be on a call.
So when I get a text from him it feels that we are actually able to spend quality time together.
Our conversation might last under 2 minutes but it makes me feel loved and wanted.
I feel so lucky to live in an age of technology. It definitely makes communicating long distance much faster than regular old snail mail.
The main apps Tuomas and I use for messaging are Instagram and Discord.
9. Write Letters to Each Other
So this idea borders with word of affirmation, gifts, and of course quality time. I think it all depends on how you look at it.
For me, I love the fact that Tuomas is making time for me by writing a letter. The feeling of someone stopping their busy day to create something for me gives me those warm fuzzy feelings inside.
I also enjoy reading regular old snail mail.
Honestly, the whole time spent writing, mailing, and reading a letter is really enjoyable. It also lets you know that your partner is creating time for you.
Honestly, when was the last time you sent a letter to anyone? It takes so much time and effort compared to texting or sending an email.
What’s even more amazing is that writing a letter can be done anytime. For example, your partner could be asleep or hanging out with their friends.
Write them a letter, let them know that you’re missing them and how happy you are to have them in your life.
Or you could turn this into a date night activity and each write letters to each other.
10. Plan Meet-Ups
I would have to say this is our favorite thing. I mean obviously who doesn’t want to be with their partner in person.
For this quality time activity it is much more than actually meeting-up, it’s planning the meet-up.
We love doing this for all our meet-ups. It creates so much excitement not only to see your partner but to explore with them.
You can also learn more about your partner and find out what kind of activities they like to do for fun.
Tuomas and I like to explore small towns and learn about history during our travels.
So when we’re planning a meet-up we make sure to plan.
While we have been in each other’s country we have planned overnight and day trips.
You really learn more about your partner by seeing the way they travel with you.
I know this idea might be harder now than when I first wrote this article in Feb 2020. I think it is still important to think of the future with your partner as it can help give you hope.
If you find that doing this is too heart breaking then look at this from a different perspective.
Make plans for all the bucket list places y’all want to go together.
Tuomas and I have so many saved trips on trip advisor of places we want to go and food we want to taste in the future.
While travel may be difficult now, try to have faith that it won’t stay that way forever and even try looking into a country y’all could meet each other in, in the meantime.
Is Your Love Language Quality Time?
The main thing we learned about quality time is that it is time Tuomas and I spend together without distractions.
Is a time where we can focus on us and our relationship.
That is what it means to spend quality time with each other. No apps, no background noises, no social media. Just me and him, focusing on each other.
I remember when we first took the Love Language quiz and found out that we were quality time. It felt that we both were super unlucky.
Then through the years of our long distance relationship we found that we can easily create quality time for each other.
Even if we are thousands of miles apart.
If your love language is quality time these activities will help you feel right at home with each other, even though you are apart.
Are you and your partner wanting to do an activity together? Then y’all should Take This Relationship Building Course Together: Love Language Date Night