How to Make Saying Good-Bye To Your LDR Partner Easier
It’s the most dreaded part of any meet-up, the final days with your partner. When you first go to your partner it was nothing but joy and excitement.
Now you’re at the point where you have a few days left and the sadness sets in.
You try to convince yourself to stay positive but the idea of leaving your partner and going back to being in a long distance relationship both feels and sounds miserable.
Well, that is before you started reading this post.
Sure it is hard to say goodbye to your partner, but there are ways to make saying goodbye a little easier. That is why I wanted to share our goodbye routine with you.
6 Ways to Make Saying Goodbye Easier in a Long Distance Relationship
Understanding that will say goodbye to each other always hits me like a ton of bricks 5 days before I actually have to leave. It’s like clockwork.
Here we are happily enjoying a movie, cuddling with each other 🥰
That’s when the flood gates open and I start crying 😭
We know the time is nearing so we take extra precautions to make sure we’ll both make it through the next few days.
Try to Stay Present in the Upcoming Days
One thing we really try to focus on is staying present with each other. At first, I would let the anxiety consume me. I always had this fear that after I left I wouldn’t be able to see Tuomas again.
Oh younger me, had a lot of issues. Now I am maturer, wiser, and more stable with my emotions 💁♀️
It took me a while to figure out how to live in the moment and be present during the last days of our visits. Eventually, I was able to by understanding how to stay present even during our last days together.
When you are staying present you are able to better focus on today, each moment with your partner. Enjoy their presence in your life, enjoy their touch when they hold you close to them.
Because you are able to fully enjoy “today” with your partner it helps create a solid foundation for the future y’all have together.
This also means you need to stop worrying about things 🙅♀️
There is a quote by Lao Tzu that really resonates with this:
“If you are depressed you are living in the past.
If you are anxious you are living in the future.
If you are at peace you are living in the present.”-Lao Tzu
We need to focus on living in the present during the last days of the meet-up, only then will we be able to find peace.
Do Something Memorable Your Last Night Together
A great way to live in the present with your partner is to plan to do something memorable with each other on y’all’s last night together.
When Tuomas comes to visit the US we typically go out for a romantic dinner, walk around holding hands, then come back home to cuddle with each other.
While I’m in Finland, we usually spend the last night together with his family, which means sauna and playing board games.
Our evenings also align with our primary love languages. His is physical touch and I am more of quality time.
During this last evening, I usually have my phone in another room. I want to be more connected in the moment without any distractions or reminders of the upcoming separation.
Fill Up The Love Tank
In the last few days, it is important to fill up your love tank with you and your partner’s love language.
As I just mentioned Tuomas’ love language is physical touch, so in our last days together I make an effort to touch him more. My primary love language is quality time, so I like to focus on slowing down and spending time with him.
Discuss with your partner what are some things you can do to keep their love tank full.
This is when doing things for each other’s love languages comes into play.
For example, creating open-when-letters, stealing their t-shirt + hoodie, helping them organize, or buying a small gift before you leave will really make them feel loved.
These gestures will make your last days more memorable, and reignite the love y’all feel for each other before you have to go.
Have a Plan for the Last Day Together
It took us some time to figure out how we wanted to spend the last day together. I just want to spend the whole day cuddling, and Tuomas usually wants to do something together.
We now do a combination of the two ideas, in the morning we usually reserve it for the cuddles. Then we find something to do together close to the airport.
We like doing something together before we get to the airport because it helps relieve some of our stress. It also helps keep us distracted before we have to say goodbye.
Discuss with your partner about things y’all could do together on the last day, then make a plan.
This will help to comfort each other before you need to go.
Cry Before You Get to the Airport
I am a firm believer in understanding and experiencing your emotions. All of your emotions, including the painful ones. Crying is one of those emotions you should experience together with your partner.
When you cry before you get to the airport gives you and your partner time to feel vulnerable with each other. Which is essential for healthy relationships.
Of course, crying is going to happen whenever and wherever. If it happens at the airport then let it out.
It’s better to cry and let it out so that your partner can comfort you. Rather than going through those feelings on your own in the plane all in the sense to be “strong”.
This was a hard lesson I had to learn myself, it takes much more strength to be open and honest with your feelings than to keep them all to yourself.
Talk About Your Favorite Memories of This Meet-Up
On our last day together, we usually get to the airport super early.
I have a huge fear about missing flights, it happened during my first trip to Finland 🙈
While we are at the airport we find a spot and just sit real close to each other. Since we’ve already done most of our crying before we got to the airport, we like to use to time to reflect on the past meet-up.
This time is special to me, we laugh and talk about all the fun we shared together. It’s bittersweet, but these memories are comforting.
It also gives you and your partner the ability to reflect on all the things that happened during the meet-up.
When you are able to reflect on the events with your partner you are also learning more about life through their perspective.
This then helps you to develop empathy with your partner.
Know That It’s Not Really Goodbye, It’s See You Soon
The hardest part of saying goodbye to your long-distance partner is knowing that it’s going to be some time before you are able to see them again.
After a meet-up with your partner comes a time of healing, so make sure y’all give each other enough time to heal.
Then when you are ready, start planning for the next time y’all will be able to see each other.