Closing the distance is an emotional process. It was hard for me not to feel too overwhelmed at times.
That’s why we had to practice self care during this transition.
From my perspective I was leaving my entire world behind to join Tuomas.
Meanwhile, Tuomas had to get rid of a lot of furniture he didn’t need anymore and replace it with new furniture.
Closing the distance is also the ultimate milestone for any long distance couple.
It’s the moment when you and your partner can finally be together after all that time of being in a long distance relationship.
7 Self Care Tips for Closing the Distance
Even though we had already been planning this moment for years, and working towards our plans the past few months we still didn’t feel like we were ready.
We were both feeling very drained from all the emotions.
There was so much we still needed to do and closing the distance was only a week away. We still needed to get rid of things like my car and some of his furniture.
And honestly, some of those things weren’t able to be finished until after I had already moved to Finland.
While you and your partner are in the process of closing the distance, both of y’all are going to feel overwhelmed.
That’s when you need to take a step back from the entire process and focus on yourself and practice some self-care.
7. Keep Hydrated
Drink your water, it’s good for your skin, helps all your muscles and organs do their job properly, AND it helps reduce stress.
So please stay hydrated, if you want to drink wine during this transition, because I sure needed to, then make sure you are also drinking a lot of water.
Between moving and seeing friends and family for the last time, it’s easy to get carried away and forget to drink your daily amount of water.
If you are going to be drinking alcohol with family and friends then make sure to at least have a glass of water with every glass of alcohol.
Or else you are going to feel miserable when it comes time to pack.
Trust me you don’t want that 🙅♀️
Also, moving is a process and a half. It is easy to get absorbed into what you are doing that you forget to drink water.
If you need to, set a timer on your phone so that you can take water breaks, staying hydrated should be a priority for you.
6. Stay Organized and Make a Plan
Okay, I understand that it might be weird to have “staying organized” as a self-care tip but trust me.
It will do wonders for your mental health while closing the distance.
Being organized makes you feel like you have a handle on things, it also helps you to feel more focused and calm.
When you are disorganized it can lead to you anxious or even worst resentful towards your partner, especially if you are the one moving to them.
Staying organized also gives you plenty of wiggle room if life decides that it wants to get into your way while you are busy making plans
For example, my plan was to sell my car before moving to Finland.
Well, that didn’t go exactly to plan 😅
My car title was at my Grandmother’s house who was in the process of moving to our childhood home and she was away on her honeymoon.
Yes, my Grandma is epic 😆
Not to mention the Department of Motor Vehicles (DMV) where I can get a replacement car title was closed and only open for an in-person appointment in January.
So I made a plan in place for my family.
I called my Grandma and told her what the plan was and made sure it was okay with her and put everything she needed into an envelope that way she could sell my car for me.
She was able to sell my car real easily and transfer the money into my bank account.
The process was minimally stressful, only because we stayed organized and created a plan together.
5. Know That It’s Okay to Say No to Family and Friends
While getting ready to leave the country, I was prioritizing my self care the entire time.
I had already said no to hanging out with some friends because of the responsibilities I had, but now I had to practice that with my family.
During the process of closing the distance, I was staying at my Dad’s house. You could say my Dad’s anxiety level for me was much higher than my own.
Also, I have always had a hard time saying no to my family before.
When I said no to my family, it made me feel like I was letting them down.
Then the incident with my car happened 🙄
Of course, my Dad said all the fatherly things, gave me a lot of hindsight advice.
After a while, his words started to get to me and I felt really stressed.
That was the moment I knew I had to say no to him.
I told him no I wasn’t going to be upset or stressed about it because I had a plan and that plan will work.
We continued the conversation but in the end, he respected my decision.
That’s when I realized when you say no, it teaches those around you how to love and respect the space you are in and the life you are creating.
I’ve always prioritized other people’s feelings and emotions rather than protecting my own.
That’s why people tend to say yes automatically instead of saying no or even better can we have this conversation at another time.
Saying no doesn’t mean you are being mean or dismissive to their feelings.
It actually means that you are making sure that you are taking time for yourself and your thoughts.
4. Creating Time For Your Thoughts and Yourself
In the last two weeks of closing the distance, I meditated a lot more.
I had to create time to ground myself before I organized, packed, and re-organized again.
Meditation gave me a safe space for my mental clarity 🙌
The cool thing about meditation is, it doesn’t always mean sitting in place humming.
Creating this time for yourself and your thoughts allows you to connect to your inner self.
It also helps you to reduce stress and anxiety that is caused by this transition in your life.
Most importantly, it teaches you emotional intelligence, self discovery.
It also gives you an opportunity to show gratitude for you and your partner’s bond with each other.
That gratitude for the love you can offer your partner and that they can offer you will be a pillar when closing the distance.
We all can find our own way of meditation, whether if it’s reading a book, listening to music, or taking a walk through nature.
The most important thing is that you find the time to reflect on your emotions so you can stay balanced while closing the distance.
3. Move Around if You’re Feeling Nervous
There is a reason why I said movement, I have a complicated history with my own self-image and have been working on healing in that area.
So when I say move around, know that it’s not just limited to exercise.
Any movement is good, even if it’s just flailing your arms and walking around in a circle 💁♀️
When I was feeling stressed about the move, I would go on walks or have dance parties in my room.
You are able to reduce stress and anxiety through movement. When you move; your body starts the process of releasing neurotransmitters, such as dopamine.
It basically your body’s way of thanking you for moving around ✨
Like other self-care options, moving helps you to practice gratitude. Movement is your way of celebrating your body for the things it can do.
It is also something that you can control during a time when you are feeling nervous before closing the distance.
2. Sleep on The Call With Your Partner
This self-care tip is a two for one deal as it can be super nostalgic.
At some point in our relationship, we stopped sleeping on the phone every night and reserved it for special occasions like dates or if we needed extra love.
Preparing for closing the distance was one of those times we both needed extra love. I was having problems sleeping and Tuomas was feeling stressed about getting his apartment ready.
We were so busy organizing our lives as well as spending time with our family before we closed the distance that we hardly had any time to talk to each other.
That’s why sleeping on the call was a way for us to finally reconnect again.
It also made us reminisce about when we first started dating.
So if you are having a hard time sleeping because of nerves right before closing the distance.
Then try sleeping on the phone with your partner. I know you’ll find it soothing because I sure did.
1. Reaching Out to the LDR Community if You Need to Talk Out Your Thoughts
There’s are so many platforms with great communities but my favorite would have to be the LDR Instragram Community.
There are so many couples with great stories and it’s so much fun to see everyone’s perspectives and worldviews.
While in the process of closing the distance and even after closing the distance I have reached out to so many couples in the community to share my feelings as well as to talk about their own.
It truly takes a village to get to where you need to go and feel such great support from the people there to continue our journey.
If you are still in the distance phase of your LDR then check out her posts here.