LDR Guide: 5 Things You Must Do During Your First Meet-Up

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During our first Meet-Up, we spent about 2 weeks together. Looking back, I think that was the perfect amount of time.

It gave us time to learn and understand more about each other. We had to learn how to apply our online relationships to our in-person one.

At first, the transition was hard for me, I am outgoing but at the same time, I am very observant of my surroundings. 

So going to a new country was a sensory overload for me đŸ€©

What helped us better transition the long distance relationship to in person was having a plan for things to do during our Meet-Ups. 

Planning Your First Meet-Up

Planning a Meet-Up is one of our favorite date night activities to do.

We really enjoy using TripAdvisor and looking at blog posts on Pinterest.  

Just try to avoid over planning 😅

Give yourself some days where you don’t have anything scheduled. Scheduling unplanned days helps give you and your partner time to enjoy being in the moment with you. 

During our first Meet-Up we had a good balance of social and quiet activities.

The balance of these types of activities give you and your partner time to recharge from all the emotions y’all are experiencing.

While also giving y’all the opportunity to spark meaningful conversation with each other. 

Your first visit should be relaxing. It’s a time where you can finally enjoy each other’s company in person.

Discover Where Your Partner Lives

One of the best parts of traveling is exploring. Especially, when you get to be the tour guide or tourist in an area.

Make some plans to go for a walk and explore the area you are in. 

In the situations that you or your partner lives out in the middle of nowhere, go for a nature walk. You might discover something new too! 

This also gives you time to learn more about your partner’s daily life. You now have the opportunity to see their world through their eyes.

Not pictures, not video, but in real life. 

Photo by Mihis Alex from Pexels

Go on a Mini Adventure 

A lot of times your fist Meet-Up will be short, so if you and your partner have enough time, go on a mini adventure.

This could be taking a bus or train to the closest city nearby or going on a day trip. 

Planning a mini adventure like this will give y’all the opportunity to see what traveling together looks like.

You’ll find out things like who is good at maps and who’s good at getting lost.

I’m really good at getting lost 🙈

This will also give y’all time to learn more about the hobbies y’all have. A mini adventure could be biking along a trail, going for a hike, or exploring wineries + breweries. 

The list is endless, which means endless possibilities for you and your partner to create new memories with each other. 

Grocery and Dinner Date

I have found I learned the most about Tuomas’ culture from the times we went to the grocery store. 

It’s fun seeing what products they have and don’t have compared to my local grocery store.

Especially in the produce and bakery areas, you can learn so much from observing these small things. 

If you’re in a multicultural relationship, then look to see if they have a section for your culture at the grocery store. 

When I went to Finland, there was an American and a Latinx section. I was excited to see what things they had and what they considered to be a representation of my cultures. 

After you’ve explored the grocery store. Buy some ingredients and some wine. That way you and your partner can have a nice romantic dinner at home. 

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Talk About the Relationship 

It’s important to also to use your meet-up as time to talk about the relationship.

Discuss with your partner some things you’ve enjoyed about being in a long distance relationship. Let them know some things you think ya’ll should work on as a couple. 

If there needs to be any changes to the way y’all communicate, maybe you need to adjust the way you communicate in the future.

Also taking this time to loosely figure out when your next Meet-Up will happen.  

Tuomas and I used our first meet-up as a time to figure out better communication strategies for us. This was when we started to dive into the love languages and how we could use them as a couple to overcome the distance. 

Photo by Duri from Mocup on Unsplash

Take Lots of Pictures

“I have too many pictures of my partner on my phone.” Said no one ever. If anything I wished I would’ve taken more pictures of us together during our Meet-Ups.

The pictures you take will give you lots of memories to reflect after the visit. On a day you are having some downtime take lots of pictures, maybe do some Tiktoks challenges. 

Or even start your own couples’ Instagram page so you can share your long distance journey with others. 

Trust me, you won’t regret taking pictures together. 

Photo by Becca Tapert on Unsplash

Have the Sex Conversation

I feel like this isn’t something we talk a lot about in the ldr community, that’s why I wanted to bring it up here.

You should have sex with someone if you are ready to have sex with them. Sex deserves it’s own conversation, even if it’s to say I am not comfortable having sex right now.

Even if you are really flirtatious or have done skype sex before. There’s a difference between those and actually having sex. 

Also, use this time to define what is and what isn’t sex. Talk to your partner about what is okay and where you clearly draw your line.

This is something y’all can talk about before the visit as well.

After talking to your partner about sex in the relationship, then y’all can make that decision together to have sex.

We didn’t have sex on our first Meet-Up. I wasn’t prepared mentally to make that type of decision. There were a lot of things I still needed to work on for my own personal journey. 

Tuomas and I talked about it too, there were things that we were still unsure about within ourselves. That’s why we made the decision not to have sex. 

So the decision to have sex or not is yours and yours alone. Whatever you decide, be sure to talk to your partner about it, that way y’all are on the same page. 

Let’s Get Ready For Your First Meet-Up!!

I am so excited for you and the stage you are at, in your long distance journey. Our first Meet-Up holds a lot of precious memories for us.

It was also a time where we were awkwardly in love with each other. We knew how much we loved each other, we just needed to figure out how to show it in person. 

When you have your Meet-Up, give you and your partner time to adjust and feel comfortable in their new surroundings.

Once y’all have settled in, start enjoying the moments you are about to share with each other. 

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